Reflecting on what used to be and realizing that what was is no longer. I’m left with mere memories. I think about all the good, hoping its triumphs outweighs the negative tasks that resides in the past.
I take one step forward looking with hope of the future and what lye ahead but inside there’s pain and I’m not sure what else I’ll gain on the way to destiny. I see the light shining bright futuristically yet, darkness rises and tries to steal the healing given.
My splendid disposition allows people to think positively and smile at what they see, if only they knew the pain that resides inside of me. My mask comes with a smile and a soft greeting which alludes that everything within me is fine, but truth be told everything within me is in utter chaos from the sin that wars within.
The heaviness of my anxiety continually embraces me without my permission it grips and affirms what isn’t and I listen to those things that still are unresolved and my heart break.
I’m trapped within my mind, but prayer loosens the grip and my esteem grows in heavens ability to loosen the burdens and shackles and I thank God for His amazing grace.
I have allowed fear to get in the way of my future success and can no longer carry the weight of life’s uncertainties. How much longer? I ask the one who has created all beings, His reply is that I endure to the end and that I will surely see His face if I succeed.
The only thing I can do is read the encouragements and teachings that equip me in my pursuit and aid me further into healing. Realizing that there was a price paid for the new life that I have received and that Christ has risen.
The masked pain that I carry will continue throughout my life, for it is living life in it’s entirety that pains me but I look forward to the day that death comes to take what is his knowing that the war inside will be no more and I shall sleep until the day I see Jesus’ face.